Is it normal for Borderlines to lie?

I wasn't sure if this was typical, or if it was just my experience with a borderline, but it seems that borderlines very often have a reputation for lying. 

That will probably offend somebody, but to those victims of lying, it's something that needs to be talked about.

You see, I was in a relationship with a borderline who had a staggering willingness to lie, and to easily get away with it. I got out of that relationship and one of the main reasons the relationship failed was because of the frequent lying. It's common knowlege that a relationship cannot survive without trust. And trust is something I learned I could not give to the BPD woman I was with.

When I say the lying was staggering, I mean it was so bad that the borderline in my life would lie about the most trivial things and the most astonishing things. Her lies on trivial subjects were believable because it seemed unlikely that someone would lie about something so trivial, and her big lies were believable because it seemed unlikely that something would make up a big lie like the ones she was telling.

Still, once I learned that the borderline in my life was an unhinged opportunistic liar, the lies didn't end. And the most infuriating thing was watching as she lied to other people and seeing that people believed her so easily.

If there's one thing I learned about lying from an extremely dishonest borderline is this: a person's lies will be believed to the extent that the liar can maintain a posture of conviction and confidence in their lies. With the borderline I knew, she would maintain her lies until the end, and beyond the end, well past the point when her lies were refuted with evidence.

Borderline Personality Disorder & Compulsive Lying

I want to leave you with a video by Recovery Mum about Borderline Personality Disorder & Compulsive Lying. She is, I believe, a borderline or recovering borderline herself. I've watched her videos before and she lays out the truth about things that borderlines do in a way that only a borderline can understand.

One thing I think Recovery Mum explains very well is the idea of the borderline telling lies that she actually believes. I have in my own experience seen instances of lying from the borderline I know that seemed to be lies that she actually believed in, and the fact that the borderline believes her lies is what I think allows her to tell lies in such a compelling way. 

The most astonishing of lies

Living with a liar is insane. They will lie to you and make sure that nobody believes you when you point out their lying. Okay, maybe I'm thinking about the gaslighting some of these people do, and that's a subject for an entirely different post. 

When it comes down to it, it seems that many agree that the reason that a borderline lies is rooted in the borderline's fear of abandonment. Regardless of the reason, the lying can be harmful to others. I would hope that anyone who is dealing with a liar, whether a borderline or not, would make sure to take care of themselves first.